What to do if you Suspect your Toddler has Autism

You have noticed that your toddler is doing things a little differently than others his/her age. After looking up developmental milestones you fear that there could be a problem. Your heart is worried and deep down in your soul you think, “I think my toddler may have autism. What should I do?”

It was obvious that my son, Grayson, was doing things differently than other kids his age when he was 13 months old. I looked up all of the signs and symptoms of autism and obsessed about it for months knowing, deep down, that he was autistic even from such a young age.

I knew it was autism but I didn’t want to KNOW it was autism from a diagnosis. Labeling Grayson as “autistic” just wasn’t an option at that moment. I was completely lost and had no idea what to do to move forward.

So, what do I know now that I wish I knew then?

#1 Take a deep breath and try to think clearly.

Your job as a mother is to do the very best you can for your child. Panicking and worrying truly will not help. It’s SO MUCH EASIER said than done, though… I know. Looking back, I spent so much time and effort worrying about Grayson that I almost neglected to help Grayson. So take a deep breath and remember that everything is going to be OKAY, one way or another. I promise.

#2 Talk to your pediatrician.

When you begin suspecting that your child may have autism, the first place you may want to run is Dr. Google. That’s where I ran for information and it was scaryyyyy. Let me be here to remind you that Dr. Google is terrifying 95% of the time – so don’t go to Dr. Google. Go to your pediatrician.

Your pediatrician is likely to talk to you about the signs and symptoms accompanied with autism, check out his/her hearing, ask you the reasons why you have the feeling that he/she may have autism, and address any speech or sensory needs that your child has.

I was very determined that I did not want Grayson to have a “label”. His pediatrician honored my request but also told me that I should get him the help that he needs regardless of a diagnosis or label. That I can get him help even if he doesn’t have the label of autism. The “treatment” for the symptoms that Grayson had were the same whether was labeled “autism” or diagnosed as “speech delay” or “sensory processing disorder”.

#3 Remember, again, that everything is going to be okay.

I put this here again to remind you, a concerned mother or father or grandmother, etc., that everything will be okay. After I had spoken with Grayson’s pediatrician and it was time to take action, I made the mistake of telling myself over and over again that if I just waited a while longer, there wouldn’t be a problem anymore. In reality, the earlier the interventions begin, the better the outcome for a child that potentially has autism.

#5 Look into therapy for your child.

One day, I had the prescriptions from the pediatrician for speech and occupational therapy and I had DECIDED that it was the day to go and seek out a therapist for Grayson. I went into a therapy office, spoke with the therapists (they were super sweet), went to my car, and had a PANIC ATTACK.

For some reason, the prospect of therapy for Grayson completely devastated me.

We have Grayson in speech therapy and occupational therapy. They have both been a TREMENDOUS help in Grayson’s language and everyday function. I can not speak highly enough about it and suggest that this be your next step! (As long as, of course, you have a prescription from your pediatrician and it’s been recommended by him/her.)

#6 Seek out a high quality early learning center for your child.

I do not mean “go to the most expensive place around and put your kid there because it’s obviously the best.” Some of the most expensive and highly acclaimed preschools in my area are not equipped for children with exceptionalities. We actually pulled Grayson OUT of one of the “best” preschools in our area because they had NO idea how to handle his needs.

Research learning centers in your area that cater to children with exceptionalities. Grayson’s school has typical children AND special needs children enrolled. He is able to learn to socialize with peer with no special needs as well as those with special needs.

I also suggest (but in no way is this a deal breaker) finding a learning center that has in-house private therapy. You can always take your child to an independent private therapy place, however, when therapy is done in house it makes your life a lot easier than having to juggle appointments after school/work.

#7 Talk with your child’s therapists and teachers and determine if an IEP is appropriate for your child.

IEP stands for “Individualized Learning Plan”. It states all of your child’s strengths, weaknesses, needs, and how the needs can be met in a classroom setting.

This is ESPECIALLY helpful when your child transitions from preschool to kindergarten. As an elementary school teacher, I’m here to tell you that it is NOT EASY to get a child an IEP once they get in school. There are months and months of work that go into getting the child qualified and tested. If you seek this out before your child goes to kindergarten and they qualify, it is saving precious instructional time that your child could be learning to thrive instead of struggling to adapt.

I’ve been told that parents have varying reactions to the idea of their child being diagnosed with autism. My reaction, however, was devastation. I was heartbroken because I was positive that his life was essentially over. He would never live up to the dreams I had dreamt for him, life would always be extremely difficult, and that he would never have a good quality of life.

I’m here to tell you, especially now that we are past most of the hardest times, that if you have a child with autism, YES – things are going to be more challenging in some aspects than if your child was typical. However, your child’s life is NOT over. Your child can (and will) live up to his/her own unique dreams and goals. And finally, YES, your child with autism can have a great quality of life.

Need to chat with an autism mama? Have questions? I’m not a medical professional, however, I do have experience and access to people with experience. Being a special needs mom can be incredibly scary and lonely at times – never hesitate to chat with me if you need to! Feel free to email me at designingtomorrowblog@gmail.com