Sleep Regression and Autism are not always interrelated, however, it can be all the more challenging when they are. What do you do when your autistic child experiences sleep regression?
My son, Grayson, was a PERFECT sleeper when he was a baby. He was a rockstar from the time he was a few weeks old. We were so blessed. He slept through the night without any colic.
Around 13 months old, he gave up his naps, started taking FOREVER to fall asleep at night, and then waking up a couple of hours after he fell asleep.
While he was still in a crib, this wasn’t a HUGE deal because (1) he couldn’t escape and (2) he would lay there and talk or jump until he fell back asleep.
Once he was too big for the crib is when we started having serious troubles with dealing with his sleep. He had a sleep regression at 13 months, 2 years, 2.5 years, 3 years, and at 5 years old… he is still having trouble sleeping.
I continue calling this “sleep regression” because he will go a few months at a time sleeping all through the night… and then we will hit a regression where he’s up every night almost all night.
What is sleep regression?
Sleep Regression is when a child who is typically a good sleeper has a phase where he/she is no longer sleeping well. 9 months and 18 months are typical ages for sleep regression. Typically, sleep regressions are due to the changing development in a child and are (difficult) but usually nothing to worry about. You can read more about sleep regressions for typical children here.
How is sleep regression different for children with autism?
4/5 children, teens, and adults with autism have extreme difficulties sleeping. This affects the child’s overall health, behavior, and learning. Autism Speaks has a fantastic article on sleep + autism and also using melatonin for sleep.
For us, Grayson is a part of that 4/5. It makes for extremely long nights and exhausting days. He struggles with falling asleep and staying asleep. It has been this way since he was about 13 months old.
Sleep issues can result in:
- Aggression
- Learning Issues
- Irritability
- Hyperactivity
- Behavioral problems
Here’s a great article on a study done for sleep issues relating to autism.
What are some things you can do to help your child with ASD sleep better?
To attempt to be proactive and avoid the sleep regression and autism combination, Autism Speaks suggests establishing “good sleep hygiene” and WebMD suggests a list of things to try prior to medication. Here are a few suggestions:
Set up a calming environment for your child to sleep in.
The space should be dark, comfortable, quiet, and cool. I’ve noticed that when Grayson’s bedding isn’t consistently the same, he sleeps worse. For example, if I wash his usual sheets and they aren’t finished by bedtime and I put a different set on his bed, he will take longer to fall asleep and wake up earlier.
Shut down all electronics at least one hour before bedtime.
Establish a nighttime routine and stick to it!
Perhaps you will have the children take baths, brush their teeth, read a few books, pray, and then it’s lights out. Or maybe you do it in a different order or give back rubs or tell stories. Whatever you choose, make it a routine and be consistent. Another helpful thing to do is to choose a bedtime and stick to that!
AVOID CAFFIENE.
Truthfully, caffeine is not good for your child. However, all children handle it differently. My daughter (6, typical) is not effected by caffeine at all. She can have an entire coke right before bed and sleep soundly through the night perfectly. My son (5, ASD) reacts to caffeine as if someone has just infused energy shots into his veins. He’s incredibly sensitive to it and we just avoid it altogether for him… but ESPECIALLY at night.
Exercise!
Wearing out your child is important for good, healthy sleep at night. If your child is like mine, he/she is on the go ALL DAY LONG. You may think that there’s NO WAY your child needs any more exercise because they haven’t stopped moving since waking up.
You’d be surprised what some additional exercise will do for helping your child sleep soundly!
I’ve done all of that and my child is awake at 1am. What now? How do I survive?
Unfortunately, sleep regression and autism is a frequent reality for parents of children with autism. Many verbal and nonverbal children with ASD are surprisingly LOUD… which in the middle of the night can be extremely disrupting for the entire family.
Here are my personal tips for how I try survive the long nights of being awake with Grayson.
#1 Give an A+ effort at trying to get him/her to go back to sleep.
This is always my first goal. When Grayson wakes up, I want him to go back to sleep because (1) it’s good for him and (2) I AM TIRED.
Grayson is a sensory seeker. That means, he loves touch, pressure, hugs, etc. So I will lay next to him and lightly rub his arms or face and see if that soothes him back to sleep.
Sometimes this works… many times it doesn’t.
#2 Move to a more secluded location (if possible) to help him/her not wake the other family members that are still sleeping.
When I’ve realized that Grayson is going to be awake for a bit, we move into the living room which is on the other side of the house from the bedrooms. This helps to stop the loudness from waking up the rest of the home.
Grayson is very verbal, however, when he wakes up in the middle of the night he will frequently RUN AROUND AND SCREAM for no reason. He’s not crying, just screaming. Moving to a different, more secluded, part of the house is SO IMPORTANT for us so that his sister and father can continue sleeping.
#3 Get him/her a delicious cup of milk and snuggle up for a (boring) movie.
…or whatever type of drink is soothing and comforting to your child. Milk is Grayson’s favorite drink ++ he is supposed to be gaining weight… so we give him all of the whole milk. Sometimes having a drink is enough to soothe him back to sleep.
You may be thinking ::did she just say boring movie?:: Yes. Boring is what I go for in the middle of the night. Think The Rescuers… Cinderella (Sorry, Disney.)… something that would bore your kids socks off but is still animated and interesting enough to watch.
There are certain movies that make Grayson go BANANAS. I have no idea why. He loves Peter Pan and The Jungle Book and will get so hyper if it’s on the TV. So, I choose a movie that will hopefully catch his attention but bore him into going back to sleep.
#4 Rub a combination of CBD oil and lotion on the child’s body to help calm them a bit.
I love Nature’s Ultra CBD oil. We have the roll on kind AND the drops. The drops are perfect for mixing with lotion and smearing on your kids’ legs or feet. I see a lot of benefit from this during those long nights.
#5 Give him/her an activity to do that is quiet and engaging.
If the movie doesn’t work, maybe playing with play dough or solving a puzzle or reading a book will help to calm them down.
If all else fails, allow them to play what they wish and just try to keep them quiet.
#6 Get a cup of coffee and find something to do. Repeat.
When I’ve tried all of the above things and they’ve all failed, I make a pot of coffee and resign myself for being in for the long haul.
I typically find things to do. If I’m fairly AWAKE, I will work on my computer or do my Bible study. If I’m having a hard time staying awake, I will organize something or clean up a much needed messy space.
There’s no getting around the fact that raising an exceptional child brings exceptional challenges. You were chosen to be a mother to a child that needs you to try and be strong and there for him/her. As completely frustrating it can be to be awake all night dealing with sleep regression and autism, having patience and love and understanding for your child is the very best thing you can do. Being angry or ugly to him/her is not helpful – remember, they can’t help this.
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